Phew - Glad that's over

Well I did it ... I spoke to my boss and gave in my letter of intent for a 12 month Leave of Absence. Gulp!

It was an interesting day. I, of course, had not slept much the night before. Too many scenarios rolling through my sleep deprived mind about getting thrown out of the office on my tush for even having uttered the words "Leave of Absence".

My calendar had started out pretty empty, but began to fill up with meetings and calls. I managed to pass the time without freaking out too much. I had my files in order, I had my cheat sheet of notes to help me direct the conversation, I had my conviction.

By late afternoon, I have just one more meeting to get through. I have no idea what was discussed in that meeting, if I had any action items to follow up on, or if they were asking me to stand on my head and spit nickels. I was so checked out I am surprised I managed to stay sitting up right in my chair. I dashed out early to collect my documentation and have one last bathroom pit stop.

My boss was caught completely off guard, but he was a real trooper. He didn't hesitate or get side tracked with my somewhat wet delivery of the news. He patiently waited until I got through all my notes and description. He waited while I pulled myself together. He even waited while I whipped out the HR documentation to show that I wasn't making any of this up. He simply said that he would do whatever he could to see this through and that he understood my need to regain a sense of balance in my life. Wow - in all my scenarios I didn't see this going as well as it did. I was really grateful for all the preparation I had done to position my request, but in the end it was so much easier than I thought. And such a weight off my shoulders. Phew!!!

From hell to hallelujah

Oh how a day can shift between hellish to glorious in a matter of minutes - or in this particular case, in a matter of location.

Today was one of the most horrific days I have had in my recent years at work. The politics and bullshit reached a new all time high, with very few people appearing to give a damn. There was not a single incident that caused a fallout, but rather just a series of somewhat unrelated meetings, conference calls and drive by rants that coalesced into a steaming pile of crap. I wish I could say "boy will I be glad when I am away from all this mess", but the fact of the matter is it will be happening to someone else; probably someone I know and who doesn't deserve it.

All I could do was drag my tensed up body and battered brain home and hope I didn't mow down any unsuspecting pedestrian on my way in a fit of road rage.

I arrived at home and flicked on my computer. I had failed to check my personal email at work since I was battling the legions of moronic social degenerates all day. With all there is on the go regarding my sabbatical, I have to check in regularly to see what progress may have been made.

Hallelujah - a chorus of angels sing and all of a sudden the world seems a brighter and more compassionate place. I have received confirmation from Kiva that they want me to move forward with the application process. I had not expected this so soon. In fact they had send a note early in the weekend to say it could take as long as 4-6 weeks. Whoo Hoo! I am on my way to micro-financing the world - or at least a small part of it.

Next, I pick up a note from a lovely gentleman inquiring about my bookshelf on Craigslist. After several "Is it still available?" notes from looky-loos, I finally had a solid candidate. With a quick reply to him and an even quicker response back, he was on his way over to check out the piece with cash in hand. Within less than an hour he had arrived, given the shelves the once over, negotiated me down from $40 to $35 and pop the whole thing in his car. Transaction complete! Ah - you got to love the whole simplicity of Craigslist. All hail Craig!

I know a few emails and a small cash transaction may not seem like much, but they managed to wipe away the bile of the rest of the day and remind me that there are purer things in life than work - and I am about to put my entire life into the flow of those other things. Hang on tight!

FRAUD!

For the past several weeks I have been feeling like such a fraud. I am sitting in countless 2009 planning meetings with the biggest secret just wanting to burst from my lips. I am trying to focus on all the elements that need to go into a comprehensive portal strategy and all the while I am dying to say - "but I won't be here". Don't get me wrong - I do actually care (a great deal) that the right portal strategy gets developed and put into place - I want to have a great program to come back to. But at the moment... there are some other pressing issues on my mind.

This is a really strange feeling for me. I am usual pretty good about being able to compartmentalize information. But as the days roll past I am feeling like my secret is developing into a lie. I keep checking my forehead for the words "fraud" or "liar".

It is really really tough to be planning programs with my direct team. They are an amazing dedicated group (you know who you are) and I am going to rock their world with my news.

I have decided that I can't wait much longer. The Rogers policy says I need to give at least 4 weeks notice for a Leave of Absence. I can't wait that long - nor do I think it would put me in good standing with anyone I need to remain in good standing with. I think that 2-3 months is more appropriate, especially when you consider some of that time will be over the Holiday season.

So here is goes... the truth will come out on Oct 30, 2008. Cross your fingers (and toes if you have the flexibility), send me all your good thoughts and pray my karma is in the black on that day.

God - I hope I don't cry ... or worse... puke!

And the questions roll In

Last night as I slipped between my clean crisp sheets and pull my duvet up to my chin to guard against the fall chill, I was struck with another wave of "What the hell are you doing?". This has been happening a lot lately, especially when I am enjoying the comforts of a lifestyle I have worked hard to achieve.

Again today, I staved off the annoying questions racing through my head as I went for a long walk along the waterfront. I was strolling along in the sunshine with my music flowing in my headphones helping me keep up a healthy pace, when I was struck by the litany of "Are you really sure you know what you are doing?", "Can't you 'find your passion' closer to home?", "Do you really need to throw in your job, condo, car, and God knows what else next year?".

I am getting better and better at calming myself down and letting these thoughts slip smoothly out of my mind as quickly as they come. This is not the first time I have questioned my future plans. In fact, if I look back at my "big decision moments" in my life, they have all come with this kind of self inquisition. I have come to see this time as a good bell weather to help me pinpoint areas of the plans that I may have not given enough consideration to or ensure I have all my tasks well thought out.

This time around I seem to be more at ease with the onslaught of questions. Maybe it is because I expect many of you to ask me the very same questions and if I can quiet the biggest critic of them all, ME, then I can handle anything you throw my way.

So bring it on! Just be prepared for a long - well thought out answer. After all, I have been rehearsing the scripts in my head for months.

Volunteer adventures

An important part of my travel program for 2009 includes volunteer programs. I have volunteered with many organizations over the years, but recently have not felt connected to any specific opportunity.

I had originally planned on including several programs into my schedule along the way. Over the course of designing my trip I was forced to make some significant changes to those early plans. In the end I have boiled it down to a couple of programs in South Africa focused on my love of the the water and marine animals.

I have been accepted into the following two programs managed by Enkosini Wildlife Santuary.

1. Great White Shark Project (learn more)

Gansbaai, South Africa
April 15 - 29, 2009

I will be working within an Eco-tourism program to explore and conserve the world's greatest predator, the Great White Shark, and its environment. I will be able to experience first hand the awesome power and mystical nature of these amazing beasts. Althought I have never been a huge shark fanatic, when I read about this oppotunity, I just couldn't pass it up. I will be sure to keep all my fingers and toes inside the cage. I definitely need to find an underwater camera for this one.


2. Whale & Dolphin Conservation Project (learn more)

Plettenberg Bay, South Africa
April 30 - May 15

I will be working with marine specialists to support this thriving coastal environment by combining education, conservation, community development, science, and tourism. After spending time with the sharks, the majestic nature of the dolphins and various species of whales will be a welcome calming change. This program is focused as much on the community of Plettenberg Bay as the marine programs themselves. There is a ecology centre in the town that requires support as well as several community outreach programs to help sustain the pristine environment. I do hope to get in the water with some of these creatures and will definitely post lots of photos.



Each of these programs require a fee to support the needs of the program and cover my costs while participating. I am hoping to raise $5000 to support my involvement, however, I am prepared to manage the costs on my own if needed. In the past few years, I have converted all of my charitable donations into sponsorships for people who are giving their time and energies to programs that they feel passionate about. So if you would like to participate in my adventures via a donation, I would be very happy to include you within my fundraising efforts. You can use the Donate button below to add funds to my PayPal account (I promise it won't be used on eBay), or if you'd prefer you can contact me directly.

You don't need to have a PayPal account to use this system. You can provide your donation via a credit card or bank account.

Thank you so much for your consideration. I appreciate any form of support and encouragement.

Check, add, move, new tab, check, check ...

Another day spent pouring over my list of things to do for my trip in 2009. I now have lists of my lists. There is a certain amount of comfort that I draw from staring at my lists, but I am starting to realize that pretty soon, I will be abandoning the lists and actually hitting the road.

As I go through my checks and rechecks of each component - work, home, travel, family, etc, I come up with more and more things that need to be considered, captured, done, not done, accounted for, and so on. I have always been a list person, but this is really to another level, even for me.

There are few people that could really appreciate my lists (you know who you are), but I thank them every time I remember a tidbit of their craziness that helps me capture another item. I can't wait to really make my plans public, so I can share this insane sanity with those of you that will really appreciate it.

Sunshine almost always makes me high

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry.
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high.

If I had a day that I could give you,
I'd give to you a day just like today...
- John Denver

We have finally started to have the summer we have all been longing for, except it is happening in September. I guess there is no more questioning the theory of global warming.